Ten Tips on Going to the Masjid

Ten tips you should keep in mind when you go to the masjid.

1. Lower your expectations, look for the good, and give excuses:

• Lower your expectations. It's when we expect certain things from the masjid and from the people that we get upset and disappointed.
• Look for the good. It's all about perspective, if you go into the masjid looking for the good in it and in the people, you are likely to find it. If you expect and look for the bad, you will find it. So look to the good because that's where happiness and gratitude are.
• Give 70 excuses for your brothers and sisters in Islam. We are all human, we all make mistakes. We all have different situations. Some are new to the masjid, some are in pain from disease or old age, some are being abused, some are far from their families, some are alone, some are struggling to make ends meet. YOU DON'T KNOW so don't judge.

2. Look for good deeds to do:

• Say Salam to as many people as possible even if you don't know them. 
• Smile to as many people as you can. Smiling is a form of charity.
• Shake as many hands as possible. When you shake hands the sins drip from your hands. 
• Instead of sitting in a gossip circle, look for someone sitting alone and get to know them. 
• If you see someone with a small child see if she needs any help. Hold the baby a little and give her a break. 
• If you see an elderly person talk to them and learn some wisdom. 
• When you go into the bathroom, tidy it and wipe the sink area. 
• In the hallways, pick up any trash you see. 
• In the prayer hall, pick up any little papers or trash, fix the bookcase, stack the chairs. 

3. Look to gain knowledge, inspiration, and support:

• Every masjid has a bookcase with Qur'ans and tafseers - take a look and open one up. You might just find something that inspires you. 
• When there is a lecture, try to go and listen to the lecture.
• Find out what events, activities, classes, and halaqas are going on.
• When you socialize with your friends, get their advice on Islamic parenting, health, exercise, planning, goal setting, education, etc. Each person has something they are good in, try to learn from them. 

4. Parents of small children: 

• If you have a small child come prepared! If a child is well-rested and fed, and has something to occupy him, it will be a more pleasant experience for all. Bring a 'dry' snack, a small toy, crayon/paper, and water/milk with you. 
• When you want to pray, pray at the back of the room. That way if your child starts babbling or cries or starts moving you won't be bothering the people praying at the front who are trying to concentrate. 
• Never give your child your cell phone or keys during prayer time - trust me it usually backfires. 
• When you are praying, if your child starts crying, it is okay to leave your prayer and comfort the child. You won't be able to concentrate in your prayer anyways. Comfort the child, then join back in and at the end make up any rak'ahs that you missed. 
• If your child is in an age where they could wander off while you are praying you have several options: Try to find a closed room to pray in (some masjids have mothers' rooms). Or ask another sister to watch the child. Or pray after your husband finishes prayer and can take the toddler. Or pray later at home. Don't let that stop you from coming to the masjid. Just remember that it is not obligatory on you to pray in the masjid in Jama'ah. Your child's safety is more important. Don't forget that it is a short time in your child's life and before you know it you will be back to praying in Jama'ah in sha' Allah. You are already in the path of Jihad and getting a great reward in sha' Allah for all your sacrifices for your child.  
• If someone comes and tells you something about your child misbehaving, try to swallow any feelings that come up and politely ask what happened and then thank the person. Even if they are talking in a seemingly rude way or used the wrong words or the wrong tone of voice. Haven't you ever talked to someone is the wrong way and then regretted it later? So don't take it personally. Even if that person is wrong, don't get defensive, the angels are defending you. The person will leave you quicker if you just listen and thank them and end the conversation. If you start defending yourself it will turn into an emotional discussion that could escalate higher. Turn it into an opportunity to talk to your child, find out what happened from his point of view, and teach them a life lesson if they did indeed do something wrong. 

5. Parents of children and older children:

• Have a small talk with your children in the car on the way to the masjid. Remind them how to respect the masjid and others: Pray 2 rak'ah tahiyatul masjid, don't run in the hallways or bathrooms, watch out for other people, put your shoes in the shoe rack, eat at designated places, if you make a mess clean it, when others are praying you either pray or sit quietly, don't walk in front of people who are praying, say Salam to the Aunties and Uncles, etc.

6. People without small children:

• When you see children in the masjid, feel happy and hopeful for the future of the Ummah. This is a great thing for them to be there! Yes, even if they are running around and making noise - these children are YOUR children too. So don't be afraid to go up to them, kneel down to their level, smile, and remind them that they can run after the prayer is over :) It works try it! The boy even went to his friend and told him he could run after the prayer! 
• If you see something wrong and you want to talk to a sister or brother - remember the rules of da'wah. Make sure the thing you want to correct is a priority issue that has to do with a main part of Islam. Ask yourself, 'If I made this mistake, would I want someone to correct me?' Most of the time it is not a priority issue, so just be patient and don't say anything. 
• If it is an important issue ask yourself 'How would I want to be corrected?' Then follow these rules: Do it in private. Choose the right time and place. Start with some friendly talk. Then casually bring up the issue if you feel it is appropriate and that the person might accept if from you. And try to say that you made a similar mistake in the past. It might be better to go home and think it through and find a way to correct the person indirectly instead of confronting them. 
• Remember, there is no haram police in Islam. It's not our job to go around telling people 'haram, haram', especially people we don't know. Da'wah works best with our own families and best friends- people we love and who love us. Our job is to remind, inspire, and lead by example. 

7. Sisters who are not praying:

• If you are not praying, still go to the masjid so you can volunteer to help keep the prayer room quiet during the prayer. 
• If you are not praying, do not talk during the prayer. Be respectful of that blessed time and make tasbih and du'a instead. 

8. Be respectful of the prayer time:

• Put your cell phone on silent as soon as you hear the athan. Do not talk on the phone while others are praying near you, go to another room.
• After the prayer, if you see a friend and want to say salam, whisper it quietly and motion to your friend to stand and walk to the back of the prayer hall where you can talk so you won't disturb the ones who are making thikr, making du'a or praying sunnah.
• If your child starts to cry or leaves your side it is ok to leave your prayer and take care of them. If you let them cry or wander off, you won't be able to concentrate on your prayer and others won't be able to either. You will get more reward by leaving your prayer and comforting your child. Ignore that voice inside you telling you 'I just want to finish the prayer, I only come once a week!' Don't worry, they grow up fast and then you will have years and years to pray at the masjid in peace in sha' Allah! 
• Keep in mind that there may be people coming to see the masjid for the first time and people wanting to convert. So we need to try our best to make sure their first impression is a good one.

9. Be respectful of the masjid & the people: 

• Always leave every place cleaner than you found it, especially the masjid.  
• We all have good days and bad days, with fluctuating emotions, Eman, and difficulties in our lives - let us come together and help each other. 
• This is the house of Allah, the least we can do is be forgiving and gentle with each other when we are in the masjid. 

10. Never stop going to the masjid:

• The shaytan is working hard to point out to you how bad the masjid is and how bad the people are - He would love it if everyone stopped coming to the masjid. Don't listen to his whispers - give excuses and overlook anything he points out to you.
• Make du'a for any bad or wrong that you see and think of a way to help instead of just complaining. YOU be the change you want to see.
• So most importantly, do not let the words of ANYONE make you stop going to the masjid. Do not let ANY WRONG you see stop you from going to the masjid. WE GO TO THE MASJID FOR ALLAH. We go to the masjid for the support and reward from Allah, and not from any person or place or thing.